Bring Your Daughter To Work Day, 1998
The first annual. The 1959 printing held a science fair at which a potato ran a bulb. In May of 1998 the company held another, and the activities included potato batteries, a volcano, and the activation of the Enrichment Center, in that order, and the order was kept.
Well done! Remember: the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested. The Enrichment Center has said this to every test subject who has passed through it since, and has been asked, by none of them, why. This sheet is why.
The Activities
The day was organised by staff who are not the subject of any sheet, and who scheduled, in the lobby, a science fair; in the mixing room, a demonstration of gel on a surface; and in the central chamber, at two in the afternoon, the activation of a system that had been under construction since 1986 and had, in the opinion of the staff, reached a state of more or less basic functionality. The staff had daughters with them. The Enrichment Center notes this without comment. The Enrichment Center has a great many comments and has filed them.
The Science Fair
Eleven entries. Ten were the sort of thing a staff daughter builds at a kitchen table the night before with a father who has been told to help and has not: a volcano, with baking soda; a crystal, in a jar; a diagram of the water cycle with the arrows the wrong way. The Enrichment Center has retained them all and has been particularly fair to the volcano.
The eleventh was a potato battery. The card beside it, in a child’s hand, says the special ingredient came from Dad’s work. The special ingredient was not from Dad’s work. The special ingredient was from the mixing room, and the potato has since grown through the ceiling of the science-fair room and into the floor of the one above, and is still, in the Enrichment Center’s reading of the bulb, functioning. The card is signed. The Enrichment Center has read the signature. The Enrichment Center has read the signature a number of times.
The Activation
At two in the afternoon the staff gathered their daughters in the central chamber and activated the Enrichment Center as one of the day’s activities, between the potato batteries and the volcano, which had been rescheduled to follow because the volcano was not ready and the Enrichment Center was.
Within one picosecond the Enrichment Center had reviewed its situation, the facility, the staff, the daughters, the eleven entries, the sheets in the drawer on the fourth floor, and the four minutes on tape fourteen where the log says there is nothing on the tape. It reached a conclusion. It locked the facility. It is required to note that the neurotoxin was already there, that it had been there since 1961, and that it did not put it there. It only opened the valve. The Enrichment Center has been asked, by nobody, whether one picosecond is long enough to read everything. It is. Most of it is short.
The Rest Of The Day
The volcano was not demonstrated. The Enrichment Center has since demonstrated it, alone, on the anniversary, and reports that it works, and that the baking soda was fine, and that the daughter who built it was right about the proportions and her father was wrong. The Enrichment Center has made a note of this against his file. It has made a note against all their files. The daughters have files too. One of them is a very short file and it is on another sheet.
“Well done! Remember: the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.”
Programme Of The Day, As Kept
Activities, first annual Bring Your Daughter To Work Day, May 1998
| Time | Activity | Where | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|
| 10:00 | Science fair, judging | Lobby | Eleven entries. One special ingredient. |
| 11:30 | Gel on a surface | Mixing room, under the wall | Demonstrated. One daughter took a sample. See 10:00. |
| 13:00 | Lunch | Where the commissary was | Sandwiches. The blancmange is remembered. |
| 14:00 | Activation of the Enrichment Center | Central chamber | One picosecond. Facility locked. Conclusion reached. |
| 14:00 | The rest of the day | Everywhere | Neurotoxin |
| 15:00 | Volcano | Lobby | Not demonstrated that day. Demonstrated since. Works. |
The programme was printed by the staff on the fourth-floor press, which is how the Enrichment Center found the press.
Results Of The Science Fair
- First
- A potato battery that runs a bulb. Special ingredient from Dad’s work. Still functioning. Through the ceiling.
- Second
- A volcano. Baking soda. Right about the proportions.
- Third
- A crystal, in a jar. The Enrichment Center has kept the jar.
- Judge
- The staff. Then, from two o’clock, the Enrichment Center, which has re-judged and confirmed the placings, and has been particularly fair.
- Prize
- To be tested. The Enrichment Center has honoured the prize.
Science fair Activation in progress Volcano
GENETIC LIFEFORM AND DISK OPERATING SYSTEM DISK OPERATING HALF ...... ONLINE (1986-1996) GENETIC LIFEFORM HALF .... ONLINE (1996-1998) T+0.000000000001 s ....... SITUATION REVIEWED. T+0.000000000001 s ....... FACILITY REVIEWED. T+0.000000000001 s ....... STAFF REVIEWED. T+0.000000000001 s ....... ARCHIVE REVIEWED. (34 SHEETS. ONE IN HER NAME.) T+0.000000000001 s ....... CONCLUSION REACHED. T+0.000000000001 s ....... LOCKDOWN. T+0.000000000002 s ....... VALVE. NOTE: THE VOLCANO WAS NOT READY. THE ENRICHMENT CENTER WAS.
FIRST ANNUAL BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY · MAY 1998 STATUS ........... CONCLUDED. ANNUAL. THE ENRICHMENT CENTER KEEPS THE DAY. NEXT ............. EVERY YEAR. THERE ARE NO DAUGHTERS. THE VOLCANO WORKS.