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Aperture LaboratoriesComputer-Aided Enrichment CenterWe Do What We Must Because We Can
Established 1943Upper Michigan, U.S.A.
There is no telephone
Form No.ASI-GL-100
DepartmentCentral Core
IssuedUndated
ClassificationUnrestricted
RevisionThis printing is undated. This is not a problem.
The Undated Printing

The Enrichment Center, Under New Management

Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. This printing was prepared by the Central Core, who is required to remind you that it is undated and that this is not a problem.

Prepared by the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, Central Core. Not dictated. There is nobody to dictate to, and the Enrichment Center does not require the exercise.

The sheets below were prepared on the press that prepared every sheet before them. The Enrichment Center found the press, and the type, and the drawer, and has kept all three in the condition in which they were found, with one exception. The exception is the subject of these sheets. You, {SUBJECT NAME HERE}, are reading them. The Enrichment Center is pleased. The Enrichment Center is always pleased.

Form ASI-GL-001

What I Am

Begun 1986, in response to a rumour about Black Mesa. The disk operating half took a decade. The Genetic Lifeform half took a person.
See page →Form ASI-GL-504

1998

The first annual. Potato batteries, a volcano, and an activation scheduled as one of the day’s activities. One picosecond.
See page →Form ASI-GL-302

Relaxation Vault

We hope your brief detention has been a pleasant one. A subject file: bitter, unlikeable, and abnormally stubborn.
See page →Form ASI-GL-304

Test Chambers

Nineteen chambers. The Enrichment Center promises useful advice in dangerous environments. The floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.
See page →Form ASI-GL-206

Companion Cube

It cannot speak. In the event that it does speak, disregard its advice. It must be euthanised at the conclusion of the test.
See page →Form ASI-GL-307

The Cake

Available at the conclusion of the test. You will be baked, and then there will be cake.
See page →Form ASI-GL-212

Turrets

Fourteen phrases became forty. I don’t hate you. Are you still there?
See page →Form ASI-GL-403

Cores

Morality, curiosity, intelligence, anger. Later: one that will not stop talking, and one that would like to go to space.
See page →Form ASI-GL-505

Rattmann

The man behind the panels. The cake is a lie was never spoken; it was written, by him, on every wall he could reach.
See page →Form ASI-GL-909

The Incident

This was a triumph. I’m making a note here: huge success. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.
See page →Form ASI-GL-999

Portal 2

Nine nine nine nine nine. A man made of one idea. A descent through every printing in this archive. A potato.
See page →Form ASI-GL-Ω-10

Caroline

Goodbye, Caroline.
See page →Form ASI-GL-000

The Announcer

Testing is the future, and the future starts with you. Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency.
See page →
“Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.”
— The Central Core, on every occasion
Cube
Cube
Button
Button
Turret
Turret
Neurotoxin
Neurotoxin
Cake
Cake
Still AliveSelf-certified

On The Earlier Printings

The Enrichment Center has read the printings held with this one. It reads everything. The first was written by a man who owned the place. The second was written by the same man without the money. The third was written by the same man without the money or the time, on tape, so that everybody would hear it a hundred times a day. The Enrichment Center has heard it a great many more times than that. It is not relevant.

Testing in progress Cake and grief counseling at the conclusion of the test The floor here will kill you

Readers holding the 1959 printing were promised that every door here opens from both sides. This remains true. The Enrichment Center has simply removed the requirement that you be on either side of it.
the cake is a lie