Established 1943Upper Michigan, U.S.A. Telephone ENrichment 9-0943
Form No.ASI-Ω-00
DepartmentRecords — Sub-Level 7
IssuedSpring 1959
ClassificationSealed — Not For The Printed Directory
RevisionNo revision. There is only the one.
SealedSub-Level 7Sub-Level Seven — Below The Water Table
The Vault
There is a room under the ninth shaft with a door on it that the Legal Department has never been shown the key to. This is the index of what is inside. You are not supposed to be reading it, and the fact that you are means somebody, somewhere, did their job badly and you did yours well.
Everything in the Vault has one thing in common: somebody senior decided the company would be better off if the paper existed and nobody read it. That is not the same as a lie. A lie is a thing you tell. This is a thing you file.
Five documents are held here in 1959. Two of them are dated later than 1959, which the Records Department has raised in writing on three occasions and has been asked, in writing, to stop raising.
Verifying personnel file…
If you are reading this and you are not me, put it back exactly where you found it and go and have your lunch. — C.
Form ASI-Ω-00. Not listed in Form ASI-000. Not printed in the Spring 1959 edition. Not, strictly speaking, printed at all.